Warren United

"There is Only One Warren Kingsley ". Or is there? When the Luxor brothers mistakenly spend £50m on a new striker you would think Warren would be happy. Not only is he good-looking and a model citizen but he can actually play. The only problem is that his name is Warren Kingsley – the very same as our story's hero. Warren’s dreams of running onto the pitch as the crowd sing "There’s only one Warren Kingsley" are suddenly just that - dreams. As he so simply puts it, "I was unique. And now I’m two-nique". Meanwhile, Mum seems to be acting strangely. Can things get any worse?